Setting Healthy Boundaries ( 5 Easy Tips!)

Have you noticed that some people just don’t seem to understand the concept of personal space? I’m sure you’ve experienced someone standing a little too close when talking to you, or that person behind you in the grocery store line who keeps inching toward you even though the line hasn’t moved at all.Can you recall that uncomfortable feeling when your personal space was being invaded and you felt trapped with no escape?  

Personal space can be emotional as well as physical. At times, our family members, significant others, or even our friends can cross a line and leave us feeling uncomfortable.

This imposition can result in feelings of frustration, anxiety and resentment unless we address these issues and create healthy boundaries. Often, when people behave in ways which cause us anxiety or anger, we are quick to place the blame on them, but we need to examine the how our own behavior may contribute to such stressful situations.   Essentially, we train others in how we want to be treated. Sometimes without realizing it, we send out messages concerning how others can speak and act toward us.

Setting healthy boundaries means being clear and consistent about what is acceptable and what is not, concerning how others treat us. This does not mean being unkind or unwelcoming. Other people need to understand what we will allow and to what extent they can be involved in our lives. It is somewhat similar to setting behavioral expectations for children; they need to know how far they can go before something becomes dangerous or destructive.   Consistency is important when setting and maintaining boundaries, but in certain situations we may need to be flexible. We learn through our experiences which people need more strict boundaries in our lives.  

Here are 5 things to know about creating and maintaining healthy boundaries:

  1. If you find yourself continually feeling frustrated or angry toward someone, you probably need to set a boundary.

  2. Be clear and concise when communicating a boundary; do not do it when you are angry or  

  3. Remember that you are setting boundaries for your own mental health and well-being. This will diminish some feelings of guilt or selfishness that may arise.

  4. It is your responsibility to take care of your own feelings and emotions. You are not responsible for other people’s feelings or reactions to the boundaries you set as long as you do so in a kind and respectful way.

  5. Not everyone will accept your boundaries, and some may try to manipulate you and push the limits you set.  In these cases, you need to be particularly firm with your boundaries.   When you start setting boundaries in your life, you will likely notice those around you who recognize and respect this healthy step. Use them as your support system when you need to. Whenever possible, try to minimize contact with those who resist or attempt to manipulate your boundaries.   Setting boundaries is a skill that will be effective in both personal and professional relationships. Think about a boundary that you can set today that will lead to a happier and healthier you!